Rough and Tumble Play
Nobody Said Parenting Was Going To Be Easy.
I’d like to see a raise of hands on this question.
I mean it, raise your hand if you love to wrestle with your kids!
I love it. I mean I can’t get enough of it. If given the choice to sit and roll a “HotWheels” car around OR wrestle with my little ones - I will take wrestling with my little ones 10 times out of 10.
Physical roughhousing by Dad is actually incredibly important for the development of our children. Roughhousing, also referred to as “Rough-and-Tumble Play (RTP)”, creates strong bonds between Dads and their kids. It helps children navigate play with other kids as well as understanding social dynamics.
The Canadian Institutes of Health Research conducted a meta-analysis regarding studies researching the effects of RTP on kids. This is what they found:
A meta-analysis carried out by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research.
“Children were more aggressive as a function of Rough-and-Tumble Play (RTP) but only if their fathers were relatively less dominant playmates.”
“Overall, these results indicate that RTP activities can indeed be associated with behavior problems, as some adults believe [Panksepp, 1993], though these associations likely arise when fathers are unable to contain and impose limits on play interactions.”
“Paquette argues that fathers can help their children learn to better manage their aggressive emotions through controlled confrontations in RTP. [Peterson and Flanders [2005] proposed that RTP contributes more broadly to the development of self-regulation as it cultivates a child’s identification with others. Because RTP is sustainable only as long as both participants enjoy themselves, children must learn to modulate their actions to maintain their fathers’ enjoyment, even in the heat of the moment.”
“Physically aggressive behavior in early childhood is a risk factor for the development of chronic psychopathology later in life [Moffitt et al., 1996]. The presence of a father figure in a child’s life can protect children from these risks [Amato and Rezac, 1994], though as this study confirms, the quality of the father’s influence is an important moderator [Jaffee et al., 2003].”
Interestingly, one of the things this study covered was QUALITY TIME with kids. It delved into how incredibly important it is to be fully present with your children. You must interact with them. You must set boundaries for them. You must instruct them on when too far - is too far. You teach them how to read situations and interactions.
We are teaching our kids and we don’t even know it.
Just by playing with them we are teaching them. BUT, we also have to be the ones IN CHARGE of the play. We must create a safe framework for play (as well as have fun!)
“Rough-and-tumble play provides children opportunities to balance competition and cooperation.”
In another study conducted by Patti Bokony, Teri Patrick University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences, they concluded the following:
“Rough-and-tumble play helps children learn self-control, compassion, boundaries, and about their own abilities compared to other children.
• Chasing games exercise children’s bodies as well develop social skills.
• Children independently problem-solve and self-correct in order to remain with the group activity.
• Children learn how to adjust to change in the play scheme and assess how their playmates respond to those changes.
• Children learn to show care and concern when a playmate falls and to express their thoughts to others in a game.“
All of this is learned through RTP with Dad (and Mom).
The next time you think you should stop physically roughhousing with your kids, think again. You are giving them unquantifiable lessons that they will carry into their daily lives.
HAVE FUN AND WRESTLE WITH YOUR KIDS.