GRIT!
Nobody Said Parenting Was Going To Be Easy.
Grit. It’s a Buzz Word right now…and rightfully so!
Angela Duckworth, the author of “Grit. The Power of Passion and Perseverance.” defines Grit as - “Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.”
Grit isn’t luck…or talent…or short term…or a moment of intensity.
Grit is having a goal….a goal that you care so much about that you organize your life around it. Grit is consistently and steadfastly working toward that goal. Even when you experience a failure. Even when you find roadblocks in your way. Even when you screw up! You continue to work toward your goals.
We all want our kids to be “Gritty”. We want them to understand that it ALL TAKES WORK. We want them to learn that through consistent hard work, they can achieve their goals.
Here are a few ways we can help our kids develop Grit:
1) Let them get FRUSTRATED.
It kills us to watch our kids struggle with things. Struggle to get their diaper down to take a pee. Struggle to read a hard word. Struggle to connect on a pitch. Struggle to understand math. Whatever it is, it’s hard to watch them fight through these things. BUT, it is indispensably important for them to develop Grit. If they don’t struggle (even on the little things we want to do for them) they will not develop the drive to push past the easy.
2) Talk about EFFORT and NOT ACCOMPLISHMENT.
Okay, so you beat the smallest kid in school in a race around the parking lot…yipee! NOPE. We need to instill in our kids that EFFORT is the important thing. Not, the accomplishment. I put it to my swimmers this way; “Would you prefer winning the race and going a terrible time - OR - would you prefer to crush your best time and get third?” The answer is inevitably to get faster. But, to get faster takes hard work. To get faster takes focus and consistent commitment. (Oh man….three bad words=Focus, Consistent, Commitment). But, this is what we need to instill in our kids.
3) Model Grit.
The single worst example is “Do as I say, not as I do.” We can preach all day long about the merits of hard work, grinding through frustration and seeing things through. But, if we model the opposite we are ensuring our kids will follow what we “Do” and not what we “Say.” So, the next time your struggling putting together your wife’s Spin Bike. Or, your having a hard time getting your client to buy 600 units of the P-x 27. Or, you are ready to throw in the towel on your marriage because it takes more work to save it…..Think Again! WE MUST MODEL GRIT!
Help your child to find their passion. Then emphasis EFFORT over ACCOMPLISHMENT.
Let them know that FRUSTRATION is part of the game. It’s not always going to come easily.