OH MY GOD! STOP BITING!
Nobody said parenting was going to be easy.
Ok...HOLY COW, toddlers bite hard! I’m telling you, every time my son gets close to my legs, I brace myself for the agony of tiny teeth penetrating my delicate skin. I mean...OUCH….SON OF A….!
So, biting is actually very common among toddlers between the ages of 1 and 2 years old. In fact, BOYS are more commonly “biters” than are girls. (Great for me and my groinal area).
Most biting should subside by age 3 - 3 ½.
There are a few reasons why kids bite. Most of them are pretty obvious.
Lack of vocabulary. If a child gets frustrated with their inability to communicate they may bite.
They may become overwhelmed with sounds, lights, activity levels and people. (Think about the last time you were at a concert and getting out of the parking lot was making you INSANE!)
They are overtired.
They need more active playtime.
They are just plain FRUSTRATED.
No matter what the reason, it still can not be acceptable for them to bite. So, we’ve got to nip that in the bud.
A couple of tips to stop the biting.
Be Assertive and Firm: “NO! NO BITING!”. Now, you gotta keep your cool. Don’t flip your shit on them. But, make it known that biting is not an acceptable behavior. (Interestingly, punishment has NOT been shown to diminish biting).
Give your attention to the victim. If little brother bites big sister, give big sis all of your attention. Let the “little biter” know that they will not become the center of attention if they hurt someone else.
Allow the biter to console their victim. (Dude, it is the cutest thing when my son realizes that he hurt his big sister and gives her a kiss on the “bite spot”.)
Structure their sleep time so that they are NOT overtired. Schedule in naps. Move bedtime (incrementally) earlier. Avoid “playdates” during “naptime.”
Schedule activities that will have a LOT of stimulation during times when you KNOW they are well rested and well fed.
As our little ones start to master their communication skills, the biting should start subsiding. Keeping a structured sleep/nap time may help. Communicating with them in “no uncertain terms” will be helpful.
Here’s what will NOT work:
Biting your child back! I know, I know...sometimes you just want to say “Ha! How’s that feel you little gremlin!” But, DO NOT BITE THEM BACK. It teaches them that it is okay to bite when you are upset. (Kinda the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish)
Don’t shame or use harsh punishments. This will actually increase their fear and stress levels, which may increase the biting.
Don’t force Biter and Bitee to play together. This could be a recipe for disaster.
If your child’s biting does not subside or lessen over time, it might be time to get some professional help. Most biting should subside by age 3 - 3 ½.
If your kid is in daycare or a Head Start program ask the directors there for a recommendation. You can also visit your pediatrician. Don’t be embarassed! Like I’ve stated before….yes your little snowflake is wonderful, but they are not necessarily unique. Most kids go through common “phases”. This is just one.