What the Hell Happened To My Sweet Three Year Old Daughter?
Nobody said parenting was going to be easy.
Okay, so since this is my first blog post let's just get something out of the way. Yes, your child is absolutely amazing. Yes, she is a brilliant little snowflake. Yes, he is so special he makes hearts melt around the world. Yes, they are the most incredible gift humanity has ever encountered.
BUT...
They are not necessarily unique.
As I walk along this parental journey I continue to think: "Holy shit...here comes another 'phase'.....and often I think....Thank GOD it is only a phase."
It is crazy how kids - literally - have completely predictable 'phases'. And, thank goodness we can identify them.
So, the next time you start thinking "Oh - My - God - there is something seriously wrong with my child." Take a second. Use this crazy tool called the interweb (or is it internet?). Check and see if this is just a phase they are going through. I will do my very best to continue to keep us ALL informed as to the crazy shit these kids go through.
Executive Function is being able to translate what you know into practice.
Alright, let's talk about Dr. Philip Zelazo. This brilliant dude created this super cool experiment called the "Color Game". In the color game a group of 3 year-olds were given two tasks. The first task was the "color game". They were asked to sort picture cards of a bunny and a truck by color. Some were red and some were blue. The three year-olds had no problem playing this game. Then the kids were asked to play the "shape game". Using the same cards, the 3 year-olds were asked to sort the pictures by shape; bunny and truck.
Here is the cool thing. Even though they completely understood the instructions: sort the pictures by shape and not color...they couldn't do it! They kept sorting by color.
Here is where Dr. Zelazo's idea of Executive Function comes in. Executive Function has nothing at all to do with intelligence. Heck, your kid may be the next Albert Einstein, but their ability to take that information and use it is inhibited during this phase in maturation. It is the ability to USE what you already know, to be creative with it, to problem solve with it. This Executive Function is not quite developed in 3 year-olds.
But, take heart. One year later, the same kids were asked to repeat the "color game" test and at the ripe old age of 4 years old, the kids were able to fly through the test! One year later, their capacity for Executive Function has exploded!
Now, what does all of this mean for my (used to be sweet little angel) 3 year-old. Even though my nugget of love KNOWS what to do...she may not necessarily be able to execute those instructions.
Children’s ability to take that information and use it is inhibited during this phase in maturation.
So, the next time if feels like you are going to have a brain aneurism when your darling little buttercup isn't brushing her teeth (and is instead continually taking the clothes off her Barbies) don't lose your mind. Have a bit of patience. Try a "Do-Over!"
Ask her (calmly):
Dad - "Honey, what did I ask you to do?"
Daughter - "Brush my teeth."
Dad - "And, what are you doing now?"
Daughter - "Playing with my Barbies."
Dad - "Okay, babe....let's have a 'Do Over'. What should we be doing?"
Daughter - "Brushing my teeth."
Dad - "Are you supposed to be playing with Barbie?"
Daughter - "No."
Dad - "Okay......DO OVER!!" (Fun, Happy, Excited)
Daughter - "Yay!" (runs to the bathroom and brushes her teeth....half the time)
Especially some of us guys, we can flip our shit on a dime.
Take a breath, Bro.
Remember this little human (that you had half the responsibility in making) is doing their very best to listen to you and make you happy.
Patience my brother....Patience.