Getting Drunk Around Your Kids?…Don’t Do It!
Nobody Said Parenting Was Going To Be Easy.
Let’s get this out of the way. I like beer. No…wait….scratch that. I love beer. The thought of a cold, frosty, draft IPA makes my heart go a-flutter. Heck, my brother works for a brewing company (yes!).
Here is the debate that will NEVER be settled: Should you drink alcohol around your kids?
You will find opposing views on the subject.
But, that being said, we should REALLY try and NOT get DRUNK around our kids.
The research is pretty significant.
“We know some children become very anxious when their parents use alcohol in ways that lead to uncertain, unusual or unpredictable behaviour. In my view the best way to make that judgment, as in lots of areas to do with children, is ask them, listen to what they say and act accordingly.” - Anne Longfield, the children’s commissioner for England
Other findings include:
15% of children have asked their parents to drink less.
16% of parents have felt guilty or ashamed of their parenting as a result of their drinking.
12% of children said their parents paid them less attention because of their drinking.
11- and 12-year-olds described alcohol as “like sugar for adults” and said parents drink to “solve their problems”.
Thirty percent of parents have been drunk in front of their kids and nearly 20 percent of children have been embarrassed by their parent’s drinking habits according to non peer-reviewed research recently released by the Institute of Alcohol Studies.
Children tend to see alcohol as a destabilizing force. Where as adults see it as an opportunity to unwind. These two points of view are obviously contradictory.
It doesn’t have to be entirely all bad.
Children learn about acceptable behaviour by observing and copying their parents, so when it comes to drinking, it really is a case of leading by example
Research also shows that RESPONSIBLE drinking around your children can also be a positive.
“We feel very strongly about parents modelling behaviour,” says parenting experts Gail Bell and Julie Freedman-Smith of Parenting Power. “Whether it’s drinking responsibly, eating responsibly or even texting when you’re driving – what are parents modelling to their kids about their behaviour and how to do those things responsibly so they can learn?”
“Drinking in front of children is a way for kids to see and learn the family’s values around drinking and how one does that responsibly.” Freedman-Smith adds.
Drinkaware is an independent charity working to reduce alcohol misuse and harm in the UK.
Among their advice are a few things to think about when you want to have a frosty cold one with your kids.
Children learn about acceptable behaviour by observing and copying their parents, so when it comes to drinking, it really is a case of leading by example.
Drink within the low risk alcohol unit guidelines of not regularly drinking more than 14 units per week for both men and women, and spreading them evenly over three days or more. This shows your child that adults can enjoy alcohol in moderation.
Explain that alcohol is only for adults because their bodies have finished growing, and even adults have rules about how much they can drink.
If you do drink too much occasionally and have to deal with a hangover, don’t try and hide the symptoms, instead talk openly to your child about how you’re feeling.
So, really Dad (and Mom) it comes down to you! Does the idea of creating a destabilizing environment for your children by getting drunk in front of them appeal to your inner child, your soul? Or, does the idea of drinking responsibly around your children so that they have a role model of safe & acceptable social drinking sound like a better idea?
It’s up to you.